What is Mobile Number

“What is mobile number,
What is you smile number
What is your style number
Karun kya dial number
Hoga phir aana jana
Dede koi easy number…”

– Haseena Maan Jayegi (1999)

I never thought Sonu Nigam’s rather cheesy but superhit song from 2 decades ago would be so prophetic and relevant today. I visited an Airtel store yesterday for a new prepaid connection. I was asked to furnish my original Aadhaar, a local reference( my husband, conveniently) and to remove my glasses so that they could click my picture.The Store manager, Riddhi handed me a cluster of SIM card vouchers and asked to choose one number.I was like how does it matter, anyone would do. She insisted, “ma’am, please choose one.” So i took the cluster from her, about 10 and quickly ran through all in 10 seconds and took the last one, the decision time was precisely 3 seconds. Each number was very random and very disconnected from the other. The adjacent service counter was trying to process a bald European’s connection. He was on a short work trip to India and his paperwork scared me. Airtel asked for his passport, his visa, his employer’s address/mobile, his current address/mobile, a local reference/address/mobile and so much back and forth. And knowing India’s porous online security and poor responsibility with data, I was like thank god, i’m not in his shoes. He was handed a cluster of 30 SIM card vouchers and he kept peering in and out at every SIM voucher, like what really is the difference!And we all had a good laugh.

That’s when Riddhi lolled her eyes and shared her customer experiences. Very superstitious people sat for 3 hours adding all the ten-digits of the available numbers to see if it matched up to their lucky number or desired number. It had to add up to 1 or 3 or 7 or 9. Or they walk away!I asked her what their non-negotiable reason was. For one, it was a lucky number that wouldn’t be rejected by girls/boys or future husband/wife. Another wanted a lucky number for the stock market. One wanted it for registering a new business. The sentiments were very driven and motivated by belief. Numerology is king!

The bald European gentleman asked me if i could help him select a number. I politely declined and replied, Welcome to India, buddy! He shook his head in disbelief and asked how much time i took to pick mine. 3 seconds, my friend and good luck with yours! In 10 minutes, my new Pre-paid number was up and running. I stepped out of the store, happy and smug at the seamless service. In a couple of minutes, our bald European gentleman passed by with a wave that he got lucky!

So yeah, back to Karishma and Govinda’s song,

What is mobile number – check ( I have a new number, yay!)
What is your smile number – check (it adds up to lucky no.1!)
What is your style number – check (yes, the snooty iPhone)
Karun kya dial number – check (of course, all numbers on DND)
Hoga phir aana jana – check (fully functional)
Dede koi easy number – check (eat almonds and nuts, to memorise this one!)

Until then, over and out.